“If the truth is worth telling, it is worth making a fool of yourself to tell.”

Frederick Bueckner

How can a person know if they have grown up? Is it because a person’s shoe size has quadrupled in the last two years? Is it their newly acquired deep vocal-fry tone? Or maybe they have had more bouts of B.O. recently? I have been wondering this question about reaching adulthood for years, and I think I have finally arrived at a definitive answer. But to get to that answer you first need to consider some background meanderings on how I came to my epiphany.

I was just given a teaching assignment at church: In the fall I get to explain to a group of kindergardeners thru sixth grade about the topic, “What is truth?” How can I teach children something so complicated that Pontus Pilate himself, the Roman Prefect of Judea, asked our Lord, “What is truth?” (John 18:38). It is such a complicated question no one can seem to come to a real agreement.

That is what got me thinking…

To begin, we need to realize we live in a culture that believes “all truth is relative.” Like a fish swimming in a universe of salt-water, subjective feelings and personal opinion is the water humanity daily swims in, and we don’t even realize it. Ever since the early 1900’s the post-modern view of truth has taught us, “that there is no objective truth, rather truth is constructed by society. All ideas of morality are not real, but constructed.” If I think eating a human foot for dinner is morally wrong, then that means I have never walked in the shoes of Cannibal Mike who grew up seeing the big toe as a wonderful delicacy to share with his family on Christmas morning. Who am I to say Mike is wrong when it comes to his culinary delights? If he likes snacking on a few toes, let the poor man be…”Hey Mikey, he likes it!” As current culture demands, compassion and empathy should never judge.

Whereas the traditional definition of truth has always been “that which is in accordance to reality.” My personal favorite definition is “that which corresponds closely to what is.” For instance, if a thermometer registers 100 degrees outside with high humidity, and then if someone asks me if it is hot outside, a proper ‘truthful’ response would be, “it is hot enough that a person will quickly sweat.” I could say it is very hot because 100 degrees has always been hot to me, but to an Austrailian Aborigini or Will Snyder (A.K.A. as the Brazilian Tarzan), 100 degrees is a rather mild day. But physically they both will still sweat, they will not be able to avoid it, so the reality of sweat offers tangible proof to the heat.

Truth is that which is true to what actually is.

But herein lies the problem: Adults don’t like to admit that something is truly true, because an adult knows if they admit something is true they are responsible to respond correctly to that truth. So instead of agreeing to truth and changing a behavior they have come to enjoy, they would rather keep some things confusing, vague, non-descript, and the cool new phrase of the educated elite is ‘a nuanced perspective’, so they can continue living as they want. No guilt, no remorse, no regret. Jeremiah says, “they do not even know how to blush.”

So for me, a huge sign that you are an adult is that over time you have learned to package your ideas of truth in plastic, rubbery language. Easy to twist, stretch and morph into whatever the current winds of culture demands. Adults are comfortable in the realm of pretense, where actual feelings and beliefs are hidden behind a mask of feigned confidence and pinched stoic sophistication. Adulthood is the season when a person becomes allergic to exposure. That is how you know you have grown up.

Let me give you a quick example on how adults have mastered the art of inventing new words for old concepts with two examples:

• FORNICATION: is now having a fling, a midnight rendezvous, a dangerous liaison, a sweet dalliance, a secret tryst, a hook-up, another number added to a body count, having a polyamorous relationship, extramarital relations, a swinging good time, or simply “I made a mistake.”
• LYING: “I was implying”, “I misspoke”, “Let me be clear”, “everyone agrees”, “I don’t remember saying that”, “that may be what you heard, but I did not intend”, “I was kidding”, “All the literature has changed their opinions”, “that ship has sailed.”

Adults have learned to hide behind these well told lies. Have you seen how professors from Ivy League schools testifying before congress lately? Talk about brilliant obfuscators.

Let me prove my point by looking at it from the eyes of a child. It is hard for small children to tell well constructed lies, the fine art of deception is something that is acquired over time. Sure children will fib, whine, and ignore commands; yes, they will try to make up stories, but it is obvious when they do it. And when a good parent calls them out on the lie, they usually will quickly admit to the lie. I had four children so I have many cases of empirical research to prove my point. I have found if I pick at the lie when I first sniff deciet, they won’t carry the falsehood for too long. Children become good liars in homes where the parents are oblivious.

Do you remember being in second or third grade when an overwieght or strange looking kid came to class? What would your classmates say about them, “They are chubby, funny looking, or even cruelly calling the person fat.” It may not be kind, but they will flat out call it as they see it. Children are quick to recognize the biological genders of a person, they will always want to know if the cat or dog is a boy or girl, and rare is the child who says someone is non-binary or gender fluid. (A child that says that has been trained by an adult to say that). Children will tell you if they are scared, worried, hurt or sick.

Maybe this is why Jesus said in Matthew 18:3, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

The curious question people have often asked me concerning this verse is, “What does it mean to become like a child?” For a long time, I have heard that the answer is humility, children know they are small. But they still are born selfish. I believe they are quick to be humble because they are willing to admit the obvious truth about the reality that is. Children are submissive to parents because they know they are not in charge. Children run to mom and dad because they know they find help. Children are quick to believe and trust in Jesus because according to Romans 1:18-21, they have been made to know that God exists. God is not an imaginary cultural construct to children, he is a living, working certainty.

It is the adult who has learned to lie to themselves about their own personal power, lie about thier self-sufficiency, and lie about their sure hope in a world that can manage by itself without God. That is why Psalm 14:1 says, “The fool says in his heart, there is not God.”

This brings me to a very interesting thought I had as I look to teach my class. Because children are drawn to fairy tales we often think they are not living in reality. But even though children may love fairy tales, they have no problem recognizing the difference between a story and reality. It is adults who have mingled fairy tales and realtiy together, poisoning both. It is the adult who no longer fears the devil. Children do. It is the adult who believes they can have all the ill-gotten gold without paying the price. Children realize punishment is deserved. It is the adult who believes they can be cats, dogs, transwhatever, and comic book heros of their own making, all they have to do is make believe. It is the child that accepts that a costume is just a costume, and then after the fun, they do what mom and dad says.

And maybe the thing I like the most about a child is that they will tell you how they really feel and think without weighing the consequences. They just let it spill. Adults are the ones who are too afraid to make the other adults already living in lies get mad at them. We have to be very careful not to pull off their masks, adults are very sensitive, so instead we are forced to be slavishly kind so we will still be accepted.

Children just don’t care. They live in the world as it actually is, and tell the truth as they see it. Oh to be a child again.