This Sunday is Father’s Day. The only forums that seem to really celebrate this day anymore are Menards and Loews because they want to sell more tools, and of course Tommy John because they want to sell underwear. If you can make money off of men, fine. But for the rest of our evolving society, Father’s Day often passes with as much excitement as that of a long yawn. Fathers have become the odd guys out, personas non grata, sophisticated America’s new piñata to daily take a whack at.

The new mantra daily grows: “Down with the patriarchy (pater is Latin for father)!” We are incessantly told it is the father’s fault. It is he who is the one who wants to dominate domestic life, rule with an iron fist, imprison women with the illness of pregnancy and keeping them scrubbing the kitchen floor. It is the father who beats the red-headed son and shames the pretty doe-eyed daughter for not wearing her hijab outside of the house.

What good are dads anyway? 

Just yesterday I was watching a feminist talk show in Britain where a highly educated lady was explaining how she has her kids calling her both mom and dad. And how men can now be mothers. If you want to laugh, and maybe cry, take a gander: https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/8720863/furious-piers-morgan-blasts-mum-men-mothers-good-morning-britain/. The consensus’ conclusion is simple: We don’t really need a father who is a man?

So does dad matter? Or should we just scrap Father’s Day altogether?

I know I am a man who also is a father of four, 2 girls and 2 boys, so my voice does not matter too much. But I do believe the diminishing of dads by our society has led to the detriment for all of us. We are not better people because we can bash the role of a father like some petulant children who have to be home before curfew. We need dad! Here are three surprising reasons why:

(1) Daughters need Fathers. God made daughters to want, and dare I say, NEED their father’s affection. That IS the way it is, no matter how strong you try to deny it, repress it or shout men down at a march, it still stands true. Young girls need strong dads. So when you degrade the role of the father or deny the man’s input in his daughter’s life, I believe two adverse conditions can result:

The first is that you will find girls who are starving for male affection. These are the girls who jump from one guy to another. In and out of one embrace right into the next, so on and so forth. These are the females who cling to the first man to show them physical affection. And many times the first man they find are those who see a weak needy soul to use and often, sadly, abuse.

And secondly, you can also find girls who will try to suppress their need for male affection and try to take on the male role themselves. If there is no father to come to their daughter’s rescue when she is young, she soon learns she must fight the world on her own. In these kinds of woman, there often grows a strong bitterness toward men that takes root in their heart. And if not properly dealt with that bitterness can quickly turn into a dark hatred. But if some of those angry women were honest with themselves, that bitterness is proof men and fathers really do matter. Hatred toward the opposite sex is like wearing a suit of armor so you will never be hurt by them again. So in your revolt against them, that anger in your heart is often a sign you miss them more than anything. See, dads matter.

(2) Woman are Clueless when it comes to what it means to be a Father. Time and time again men are told in our world that they cannot speak for women, they have no idea what it is like to be a mother. Okay, then we need to use the same logic and let’s flip the table: “Ladies you honestly cannot speak for men, you have no idea what it is like to be a father.” The moment your wife gives birth something happens in the soul of a man that says, “It is now MY job to keep my wife and children alive.” That soul-conviction is a tremendous burden a good man carries his whole life. This isn’t about ego, it is not about domination, but this protector-provider bent has been hardwired in a man that a woman has no clue about. I know some of the women reading this have hooked-up with men who are worthless and have ended up leaving the wife alone with the kids to make it on their own. These aren’t real men. And these are not examples of true fathers. A true father wants to do all he can for the success of his family. 

I have seen my dad give up everything so my mom would be happy. He traveled around the United States for years and years to make money so his family would have a good life. Sure women can work and provide, there is no question about that. But why do we have to compare? This demand for equality often turns into an attack on hard-working men. Why can’t women acknowledge that their man works hard, long, grueling hours often providing things they want. It is weird how when we take time to praise the man we also feel compelled to praise the woman too so they won’t feel left out? Ladies, men are a gift from God to you, he is your teammate, not your competitor.  I wonder, in third world countries, do you think women are fighting men for equal recognition or are they just trying to stay alive? It is here in rich, fat America where we compete…and it gets tiring!

Look around you, good fathers can be found everywhere. A good dad does a lot, more than you ever know. And usually, they never trumpet their success nor demand acknowledgment.

(3) God is a Father, so fatherhood matters. I know, I know, I hear the female theologian cringing and saying that God is greater than a singular gender. He also acts motherly. I know, I know. We shouldn’t put God in a box, we shouldn’t make God into a gray-haired male figure. We need to see him as more. I get it. You want women to be included in the image of God. But let’s just take scripture at face value one second, and let’s not overthink it so women won’t feel bad. What does the Bible say?

When Jesus asks us to pray in Matthew 6:9, how does he want us to address God? “Our Father…”

When Paul describes the work of the Holy Spirit on our heart what will be the cry of the soul according to Romans 8:15? “Abba Father (Dear Daddy)…”

When James is compelling us to have faith, how does he describe God in James 1:17? “Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of heavenly lights…”

God is our Father. And like I said before, just like a human father, he is compelled to carry the burden for the wellbeing of his whole family! This isn’t about ego or domination, but love. For God so loved the world. That is the heart of a true father.

Maybe that is why fathers are so discredited in our country? Maybe it is because people subconsciously want to break the bonds of God himself, and if they have no need for earthly fathers than maybe they have no need for an eternal one.

But I will be the first to admit it, I need my Father. Everyday…