“When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.” John 1:47
In my freshman year at college I was required to take Introduction to Philosophy class, and to my horror, the only time available for it to fit on my schedule was 8:00 in the morning. Think about it, how can you ever expect a half-awake, mush-brained, 18-year-old manchild to understand the existential ramblings of Jean-Paul Sartre and Friedrich Nietzsche? I was lost.
And what makes matters worse there were only 7 other freshman neophytes in class with me. That means you couldn’t hide from our highly combative teacher who based half of your grade on class participation. Worst class ever!
I will never forget one of the more combustible discussions we had. Our teacher made this statement, “Every act we ever do is based on selfishness. And since that is true, every act is inherently immoral because everyone knows selfishness is wrong.” I don’t know why, but this made me furious. How dare he smear all of humanity with a black mark of pride. So I argued back, “What about people who are willing to die to save others? Like soldiers and saints?” With a smug look on his face and arms crossed in a superior stance, he slowly replied to my question with his chin raised slightly, “Each of those acts is still selfish: The soldier dies for personal fame, glory, and conquest, and the saint dies for eternal reward. Both are selfish acts.”
I had no reply. I didn’t want to let this arrogant professor win. But I didn’t know what to say. All day long I thought about his stabbing accusation, “All people are selfish, which included me.” But the more I thought about it, the more right he was. I am selfish.
Over the years this single discussion in philosophy class has really bothered me. I hate thinking badly of myself, but I couldn’t get around the fact that almost everything I do can be traced back to selfishness no matter how I cut it. I eat only the things I like, and if I eat things I don’t like it is because they are healthy which is still for me. I work a job so I can earn money and respect…that is for me. And even having faith is so I can secure salvation, the saving of “my” soul is for me and my eternal profit.
But over time and meditation on the Word of God, I came to another realization, “My professor had a flaw in his argument. It is true that we all are selfish, but selfishness is not inherently immoral. God designed us that way.” We are created to want what is best for us…and that best thing is God himself. The immoral part is when we compromise and trade what is best for that which can never satisfy. The word for that is idolatry.
So pursuing selfish ends is not a bad thing. Selfishness is part of the design.
In a way, that is why I have updated my blog. Because I am selfish, I wanted to create a place that is mine. This is where I can allow narcissism to run wild. Sounds kinda creepy, I know. But hear me out. Last year some friends gave me a book by Stephen King called, “On Writing.” In this book, Stephen gave one small little tidbit of advice that really stuck out, “To be a good writer, write what you want to read.” Sounds a bit narcissistic doesn’t it? But that simple statement has done wonders for how I think about what I put down on paper.
I want to create something I love. If I hate it why would I expect anyone else to love it?
So that is my new approach, put down what I want to read. Because I figure if I want to read it, maybe there are people as weird, strange and needy out there as me who will want to read it as well? (I know, asking for people to be as weird as I am is asking a lot!)
So if I could go to a blog to read something I would like it to include 3 things: (1) Honest answers to the tough questions of life. I feel like that everyone is trying to sell you something. So my approach will be to try to be like Nathaniel, “a man in whom there is no deceit.” (2) Real opinions on what is going on in a world gone mad. Like my last blog, when a man who looks like Thor tries to convince the world he is a woman I cry “foul.” Who cares if it hurts anyone’s feelings, that is simply my opinion. (3) Reasons to find hope in this world. As a Christian, I believe Christ is on his throne. If that is the case, why worry? Let’s talk about it.
So, because I am selfish I am hoping this blog is successful. And to make it successful I am hoping that you are selfish too. Because I think truly selfish people want the truth.
This is a topic I wrestle with internally when meditating upon II Corinthians 5:10 concerning the “judgement seat of Christ” and I Corinthians 3:11-15….how building upon the foundation of Christ with our earthly works will be tested with divine fire. Motives have such a profound bearing on what we do….and how we do them….as believers in Christ. As inherently selfish individuals, can we do anything that will be proven to be “gold, silver and costly stones” rather than “wood, hay or straw”? As a pastor preparing my sermons and Sunday school lessons with prayer, study and diligence…..I most certainly want the Lord to be proclaimed and honored above all…..yet in my heart I want to be “effective”…..whatever adjectives define such things. Looking forward to what you have to offer on this matter…..and future matters, brother Chris.
Great thoughts Tom.
You have written an interesting line at the end when you say, “.I most certainly want the Lord to be proclaimed and honored above all…..yet in my heart I want to be “effective”…..” Is desiring to be effective and wanting the Lord to be proclaimed in conflict? I think not! They are both heading in the same direction. Now if you said “I want to be effective so people will see me as brilliant” there is the hidden rotten motive. Wanting to be effective is not a hidden motive, it is a means to getting to your motive,
I want to be effective for the purpose of bringing fame to Christ. I think idolatry occurs when another object other than Christ and God the Father is considered the ultimate point of glory.
It reminds me of the famous verse from Chariots of Fire, “When I run fast I feel the pleasure of God.” Running fast was the means to bring God glory. The problem would have arisen if he wanted to run fast to get personal glory.
I love Hebrew 12:3 when it says, “For the joy set before him, he endured the cross.” So in a strange way you could say Jesus died for selfish ends…his joy. But Christ’s selfishness blesses all people. He is the one person where his personal fame is big enough to bless all. Since we are finite creatures, our personal glory stops at ourselves – – it doesn’t benefit anyone but me. I think that is why selfishness that ends at self is sin. Selfishness that ends at Christ is how we have been designed to live.
Final quote, “The glory of God is a man fully alive!”
Great thoughts Chris and also Tom. We are selfish humans. I heard once from a good friend that the greatest gift we can offer God is “to have trust (have faith) God in our moments of temptation. Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please him…” So even in wanting to preach, witness, serve others, and more it seems there is a underlying selfishness as both of you have described. However trusting God in the moment of temptation isn’t selfish in my mind.
Great thoughts Tommy! Trusting that God will override my pride!
I remember you sharing that story about your professor and “everything you do is selfish” in youth group years ago. It stuck with me too!
Sadie, I knew you always had a good mind!! Thanks for remembering!