The last blog entry discussed the topic, “Why God Hides:” he is waiting, wanting us to want him. But have you ever realized that people hide too? With all the wonder & worry debated on why humans are lonely, alienated and are longing for community; people fail to notice, sad to say, most loneliness is self-inflicted. The way communication is modeled in the modern-day American home is the primary culprit on why we are lonely, alienated and outside community. Sure, sure, electronic gadgets have a big part to play in our isolation, but I believe people go to their gadgets because gadgets don’t hurt; especially compared to conversation with other human beings! What causes this hurt?
Sarcasm, the language that cuts like a knife.
Sarcasm is intended to be light-hearted & funny, it is a way to say “I like you and you know everything I say is said in jest? You know I am just foolin’, don’t cha?” Do you really want to hear the truthful answer to that question, which no one will honestly give you because they don’t want to be mocked further? Well, here it is, “No, I am never quite sure when you are joking or are actually telling the truth.” So we have learned the half chuckle, “Ha, ha, you are soooooooo funny…(NOT!).”
Sarcasm cuts both the one speaking and the one being spoken to, and boy does it hurt (but you are a sissy if you say so).
How does it hurt the one speaking? It is easier to veil your heart with messages mixed of both humor and seriousness than it is to be vulnerable and a person who cares enough to tell you the unvarnished truth. With sarcasm veiling becomes habitual. Fathers tell their sons they are “dorks, idiots and butt-heads,” from a heart that kinda enjoys their son, but more often than not they are to play-down their irritation and maybe a simmering dislike for their son. What do you think a son hears? “Dad is kinda funny. Yeah, I know, I am an idiot! But… secretly I am not quit sure what he really thinks about me?” So when the son goes to school, how do you think he learned to talk to his friends? This is why teenage boys talk like cavemen, “Ughh, me stupid, you stupider.” It’s easier to laugh with your friends watching YouTube than having a real conversation!
Tell me, when a son is really confused about who he is, where he belongs, or why he is getting armpit hair, do you think he wants to face a barrage of sarcasm from his dad? No, so the son hides. And guess what, I haven’t even talked about the heart of a daughter that perpetually craves the attention of a caring father. Sarcasm, however, keeps the daughter always at arm’s length; and it makes the arms of their boyfriend that much more attractive.
Sarcasm at it’s core is a cheap way to win and be better than everyone in the house; it gives you the advantage to still be on top, to judge the motives and worth of the other by adding a little twist of humor to deflect the full blow. Paper cuts are small, they don’t seem like much…but they sure do hurt like the dickens! And when one gets infected, it can really cause some damage. Oh, how I long for one male friend to listen to me without a chuckle, a snide sideways smile, or a triumphant tone of ‘been there, done that.’
In the meantime, hand me my iPad and headphones, I want to watch the radar.
