I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.
Romans 16:19
I have thought a lot about this. As a parent of four, a pastor of many, and an ex-bartender/rugby player, I have always wondered how much of society’s cultural norms, values, and habits should we let into our lives, and what should we avoid at all costs (being sheltered)? When a person is too friendly with the world it is a dangerous place to be because as James 4:4 says, “You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?”
This is a very difficult question because the definition of friendship with the world, worldliness, has drastically changed over the years. The old Independent Baptist mindset has notoriously defined worldliness as participation in the big four, “Drinking, Dancing, Movies, and Rock-N-Roll.” The Amish view worldliness as anything that uses modern technology, styles and advanced modes of transportation. The Bible in 1 John 2:15-16 says worldliness is a matter of the heart, “Lust of the Eyes (materialism), Pride of Life (egotism), and Lust of the Flesh (sensuality).”
That still doesn’t specifically detail what we are to stay away from if we are to be innocent of evil. We still have to live “in” this world. But the trick is not being “of” this world. So this is where each person and family has to decide, “What limitations will I place on my behavior and associations if I want to be pleasing to God?” And whatever you decide to stay away from is the shelter you choose to live underneath. And we all are sheltered in one way or another. I even know people who will shelter themselves from those who they think are too sheltered for fear of being seen as sheltered.
Before we talk about the different views on sheltering we need to see that every choice is the sum total of how you balance the three big fears in life:
- Fear of God’s Wrath: do I fear upsetting a holy God by my actions?
- Fear of Personal Addiction and Corruption: do I fear adopting habits that will destroy me?
- Fear of Public Sentiment: do I fear the rejection and mockery of the trend setters and popular crowd, or do I fear the religious community more?
Every shelter that is built subconsciously takes each one of these fears into account. Often those who are proud of not being sheltered are actually scared that they may be perceived as being one of the sheltered by those who are not sheltered and they don’t want to be shunned. See, fear still is at play.
I think that there are four main postures to sheltering.
- Shelter Mockers
- Shelter Hiders
- Shelter Survivors
- Shelter Agnostics
These four shelter labels are formed from examining my own heart and watching how people over the years cope with the three real fears.
MOCKERS
This group thinks ANY sheltering is silly because it will eventually lead a person into oppression and bondage if they allow too much sheltering to occur. They see people who try not to be friends with the world as “stunted”, “repressed”, “easily manipulated”, and even somewhat “dangerous” to themselves and others. I use the word mocker because a mocker stands above people believing themselves to be better: better adjusted, more mature, mentally stronger, and truly liberated. But what they actually lack underneath all their bravado is a healthy fear of God.
I am reading a book given to me by my brother-in-law that describes the heart of the mocker quite well. It is called, “The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self” written by Carl R. Trueman. He makes a very interesting statement that I believe perfectly describes the “Shelter Mocker” and their attitude to people who have stricter views especially when it comes to the sexual revolution:
“No one today needs to be told that a movie with the title The 40-Year Old Virgin is a comedy. The very idea of someone reaching the age of forty with no experience of sexual intercourse is inherently comic because of the value society places on sex. To be sexually inactive is to be a less-than-whole person, to be obviously unfulfilled or weird. The old sexual codes of celibacy outside of marriage and chastity within it are considered ridiculous and oppressive, and their advocates wicked or stupid or both. The sexual revolution is truly a revolution in that it has turned the moral world upside-down.”
Two very interesting points about this statement immediately caught my attention. Number one, when something is inherently comic who is laughing? The mockers are the ones laughing. Those in society that believe themselves to have found greener pastures and a braver more abundant world have no use for shelters. And those who don’t join in the fun they are having are probably either “stupid” or “weird”. The second point is the most troubling, this group sometimes sees people who have high sexual moral codes as “wicked” and “oppressive.” And because of this there will come a point when traditional morality will be seen as dangerous. So behind their mocking stirs a hidden aggression against those who view sheltering as good. Like Isaiah 5:20 says, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.”
HIDERS
This group views COMPLETE sheltering as absolutely necessary and imperative if a person wants to escape the dirt and garbage of this world. They see people who are friends with the world as “evil”, “wicked”, and unwitting servants of the devil. So they run from any whiff of worldliness. I use the word hider because a hider often is ruled by fear. Fear of offending God, fear of being soiled and tainted, and fear of disappointing those on the inside of the church. But their type of fear can best be described as dread and paranoia.
Biblical fear includes relational trust, love, mercy, and a degree of terror. The Hider’s type of fear – dread and paranoia – completely misses the mercy of a loving God. This can cause people to go to extreme measures never to touch any “unclean” thing in order to avoid the bad side of God. And the definitions for unclean can range from the serious to the absurd. In Jonathan Edward’s day every action of the human being was being watched and weighed by an angry God who…
“…holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire.”
So if it is true that “every step I take and every move I make” an angry God will be watching me means that I must tread lightly with everything I do. Therefore I need to closely monitor my actions and those of my family. I have known families that will shrink back in horror when they hear a swear word or watch a show on television where people are kissing. Some will get rid of their television all together. The biggest problem I find with those who hide is that the kids who are raised in this environment cannot be locked in a cage of dread for too long until they want to break free. And once they escape it is hard to get them back. Untold damage has been done from hiding and believing that God is not really for you.
SURVIVORS
This group thinks PROPER sheltering is both reasonable and consistent with the warnings and promises of God. God wants holiness for our good, and the Survivor knows this. A life of holiness takes sacrifice and real faith to trust that God will reward those who seek him, even if immediate results are hard to see. A Survivor knows that friendship with the world is a bad trade; taking the only person who can satisfy our deepest desires and exchanging Him for some cheap sparkly trinkets that always leaves you wanting is the height of foolishness. C. S. Lewis describes the terrible trade perfectly…
“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
A Survivor has a healthy fear of all three fears; especially knowing that God will discipline those he loves, and wrath will certainly be poured out on those who are not his children. Therefore, when a person has a proper fear of God, the fear of men and the desire for sinful pleasure have no pull on him or her. So the sheltering that happens in a Survivor’s life is the natural result of healthy self-control being played out, the Bible calls this person an overcomer. Wisdom avoids the pitfalls that shipwreck so many fools.
“My son, if sinful men entice you, do not give in to them…These men lie in wait for their own blood; they ambush only themselves!” (Prov. 1:10 & 18)
AGNOSTICS
This group ARBITRARILY shelters, they have no real rhyme or reason with what they will allow and not allow in their life. Tradition and popular sentiment is how they more often than not determine their convictions, but behind their decisions is usually the fear of being excluded by the popular and loss of immediate happiness. Sacrificing things in the present for eternal blessings is never considered, so in other words they fear man more than God. They want to be seen as good, but they usually won’t do what God says to be truly good. They also like to be seen as a person who can appreciate the delights the bad side offers (“What happens in Vegas…”), but they are not bad enough to be truly evil. So you can say they are fence straddlers and fad followers. They are nice, but not holy. Luke-warm.
They will say they know God, but he doesn’t know them. As Matthew 7:21-23 says, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”
In the long run the agnostic is forgotten. A faded memory, a dream when one awakes. But as their motto goes, “It was fun while it lasted.” Was it really?
CONCLUSION
So what does it mean to be sheltered? Are you sheltered? It all depends on one question, “Who do you fear?”
