This is how we know we are in him:  Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.

1 John 2:5-6

“I had a dream that I would find my wife here at Moody Bible Institute! I know it’s gonna happen, I just know it!”

My roommate at graduate school was convinced, he was more than sure that he received a direct word from God. No one could tell him otherwise. So each and every date he went on he was looking for a sign that the girl he was with was the one. There was one big problem, no one wanted to date him. Finally, on a cold winter day, he convinced a nice, kind red-headed girl to go out and get some coffee with him. I remember when he left the dorm room he was so excited he was bouncing off the walls. He was sure this was the pre-ordained, divine moment his dream prepared him for. So off he went on his date wearing his best button-down shirt and pants ready to embrace the Sovereign will of God — and then a quick hour-and-a-half later, he slumped back into the room looking like a lost puppy.

“So how did it go?” I asked as he collapsed heartbroken on his bed. “She hates me. I told her that it is God’s will for her to marry me.” I said, “Oh no, how did she take it.”

“Well,” he replied, “she quickly drank down her coffee, stood up and left the coffee shop without saying a word to me, not even a goodbye.” I dared to ask one more question, “How do you know she was the one?” With a deadly earnest look, he blasted back, “Because in my dream the girl had red hair!”

Well, it turned out the coffee-girl would never talk to him again. He lasted only one year at the school, went on a few more dates, and left the school without a wife. So did God mislead him? Was Jesus playing games with the mind of my poor, desperate roommate? Or is it possible God didn’t speak to him at all, and he made the whole thing up in his mind because he was lonely?

How do you know?

Ten years – seven days a week -three times a day – every day. That is how long my Grandmother and Grandfather went to church as they lived in a cult-like community in the town of Necedah, Wisconsin which was devoted to the adoration of the Virgin Mary. They were led down this road of religious fanaticism by a strange lady named Mary Ann Van Hoof. She daily made claims that she was channeling the Spirit of Mother Mary. After 10 years of outrageous devotional expectations and wild prophecies, she was sanctioned by the Roman Catholic church and was ordered to cease and desist her ministry. This interdict by the church utterly crushed my grandparents and they soon moved back to their native Ohio where they remained sullen and despondent. And no wonder, because they gave their last remaining years and a substantial amount of money to a fraud.

For those ten years, they thought this charismatic woman really knew God and her predictions of the future were unshakable and sure to come true. They really believed they were right, even when my parents questioned their religious eccentricities. My grandparents were convinced they knew the truth.

How do you know?

It was a powerful rally: kids were crying, music was rocking and many neighborhood students actually were willing to come to our church for the very first time in their lives. I couldn’t believe it! It was the first big revival that I ever organized as a youth pastor and boy did it seem like God was stirring hearts. I was sure of it.

Our speaker named Billy claimed to be healed from HIV and earlier that day he shared his story at the local High School concerning how he was once a drug addict in New York and now was completely set free. He was also quite a performer, jumping out of a coffin and sharing crazy poems with a Brooklyn accent. The students in our youth group loved him; he was both funny and passionate…you couldn’t “not” listen to him.

During the rally at our church, his message had such a profound effect on the listeners that countless numbers of students came forward in front of the church to give their lives to Christ. They vowed that they would change their ways and follow Jesus from that time on. I will never forget it, I was certain the hand of God was moving in our small town of Kent City. It was so powerful that one student, who months earlier got in trouble by smashing in some cars at a local car dealership, walked forward when Billy was speaking and gave his life completely over to God.

It lasted for about two weeks. And a month later the majority of the students who came forward had no idea why they went forward in the first place. The student who gave his life to God faded from the scene fast and after a short time wanted nothing to do with the church. I know this because I tried to track them all down.

Billy came and went like a passing thunderstorm. Commitments did too. So, was that a real work of God or not?

How do you know?

I have asked this question hundreds if not thousands of times over the years because when it comes to worshiping an invisible God, I want to know that I know. I don’t want to be playing games, or following frauds. I don’t want to imagine God spoke to me when it may just be bad digestion or paranoid voices in my head. So my quest for the last 30 years is to find the answer to “How do you know that you know?”

Are stories about that the actual blood of Christ is in the Eucharist true? How do you know? Or the Kansas City prophets and the IHOP prayer movement has it really been God ordained? How do you know that you know? Is there any way of knowing the truth? Does knowing come by way of a song that makes you cry, or a vision that is caught in the eye? Does it enter inside when a speaker moves my heart or a teacher is really smart? Or is Grandma and her religious convictions always right? I used to think so until mine was duped by some weird lady from Wisconsin.

How do you know that you know?

I want to offer my humble opinion. I think you have to first make up your mind who has the authority to speak into your life. Is it a person who changes like the seasons, or a divine book that hasn’t changed for over 2,000 years? The answer to that question matters most. And even before that, you must ask, is that unchanging book actually divine?

If it is then read it! This is where most people fail, they claim to believe it, but they have no idea what it says. If that is you stop acting as if you know when you really don’t know at all.

And then when you come to know what it says, do what it says. That is the way knowing is known, you need to experience the reality of the Bible’s promises to understand the faithful character of the Father. I can tell you honey is sweet, but it means nothing until you taste it. I can tell you God exists and he is good, but until you obey, hang on to him during tough times and follow him through the dark valleys while everyone else bails out, then you won’t really know him.

That is why Psalm 34:7 says “Taste and see that the Lord is Good.” This is called existential knowing. You won’t know until you experience his presence in the moment of humble obedience. Jesus says in 1 John 2:4-5, ” Whoever says, ‘I know him,’ but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them.”

I can honestly say, in the depth of my soul, I know that I know. Can you?