Last night I took a personality test at 16personalities.com

After responding to 100 questions, this test promised to reveal to me my true self. I was shocked by the results. It said that I was an “Entertainer”: I have to be the life of every party, I don’t like to talk about the big issues of life, and I am only looking for fun. I never knew this is who I am? In some ways, I feel more complete knowing this.

This morning I was reading an article that stated how Bernie Sanders, the white-haired, Jersey talking democratic candidate made this statement, “Most Republicans and conservatives are naturally racist, greedy and lacking compassion to those who are stuck in poverty.” Uh oh, for most of my life I have voted Republican and looked for the most conservative candidates on the ballot. Does that mean…it must mean…I am a cold-hearted hater!

The other day I heard the rantings of a very well known feminist talking about most men over the age of 40 in our country: “they are selfish, controlling and lust driven.” I am a man over 40, I am ashamed of myself.

A year ago, my daughter, had me take a “Divergent Test” based on the best selling movie of the same name. It said I am both “Dauntless and Abnegation.” This means I don’t care while caring too much. Who am I?

I was reading a history book explaining how the German warlike spirit is what caused most of the major wars. I have mostly German blood flowing through my veins. I got it from my mom who eats sour kraut for fun. It went on to say that “although Germans were very industrious and efficient, they also were calculating and cruel.” I feel terrible about this.

I took a Lord of the Rings test two years ago that said I was an Orc. That is all it said…what does that mean? I like to eat Hobbit flesh and drink the blood of squirrels? How did they know?

I was watching a debate between an evangelical apologist and an atheist. The atheist made a statement that most Christians are disillusioned and gullible saps. I am not just a Christian, but I sell it to others on a daily basis. What does that make me…a peddler of false promises and illusions? What manner of wretch am I?

I am a Midwesterner as well, as compared to those from the South and West I am less hospitable, more to myself and by nature a rather boring family man. According to that list, I wouldn’t want to hang out with me.

I also am an American. You know what that means! I am an Imperialist that enjoys living off the backs of the third world poor who work in sweatshops and dwell in shanty-towns. Why am I so indifferent to the plight of others?

The most insightful article yet was from a psychology journal that showed how the youngest child in the family, which I am, is a people pleaser and family clown.

I am not sure if I even know myself anymore; and worse than that, I don’t like who I am. If I could I would run away from myself. I can’t. So what are my options? Let the social experts and political hacks define me? Take a test and submit to its results? Just obey the commands of my German, male chauvinist self?

I choose death.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20)