I wanted to throw up! I really did. But I wanted to be accepted by the group more. So I went through with it.
My freshman year in college I decided to join a fraternity. In order to be a part of a popular men’s Greek club on campus (more like a bunch of guys you barely know just to have keg parties with), I was required to go through 6 weeks of hazing. At the time I attended college, back in the ’80s, hazing was part and parcel of private school university life. Now you can go to jail if you get caught hazing.
People will do and believe the craziest and most dehumanizing of things just to be accepted. I know this first hand because I allowed myself to be humiliated just to be a frat member.
One particular night we were called out of our dorms and we were told to report to the frat house for a friendly night of getting to know the brothers. All of us pledges, those who were wanting to join the fraternity, were to show up in jeans, tennis shoes and a t-shirt willing and ready to do whatever they told us. When we arrived, all 20 of us pledges where put in a dark garage where we stood along the wall to learn some of the fraternity’s favorite songs.
About 30 minutes into this, we were led one-by-one into the large living room of the frat house. There was a thick mahogany table in the middle of the room, and on top of the table was a large bowl of stew. In that stew sat a severed pig’s head, surrounded by large onions, beets, pickled pigs feet, moldy green potatoes, spongy leaves of cabbage, which were all simmering in a lumpy green smelly gravy.
“Men, are you ready to eat some stew?” Our faces dropped. Our intestines twisted. We were led back out into the garage to think about the horror that was awaiting us in that dreadful living room. To help psyche us up, one of the fraternity brothers made us chant loudly together, “We’re so happy, we’re going to eat some garbage! We’re so happy, we’re going to eat some garbage!” After 15 minutes of this nonsense, we were led back into the room. This time some more nasty ingredients were included into the stew: bloody sausage, slices of liver, red kidney beans, olive loaf…you could barely even look at it without your stomach turning.
Back into the garage, “We’re so happy…” You know how it goes.
Finally, we were led back into the room…apparently the stew had finished cooking. Around the table were 20 brown lunch bags turned upside down and we were told they were covering a bowl of the stew. Behind each of us was a fraternity brother whispering in our ear. “Try to eat it all, but if you have to throw up, throw up on the person to your right.” The leader of the fraternity asked us all, “Are you sure you want to be a Chi Sig Brother?”
“Yesssssss!”
“Then you must eat everything underneath that paper bag. Get ready?” So one last time we sang, “We’re so happy we’re going to eat some garbage, we’re so happy. . .” I didn’t want to do it!!! I didn’t want to be a part of this sick group any longer, I was even contemplating quitting the pledging process and walking away from this frat forever – – but I wanted to belong. I had no other choice, the fraternity culture demanded me to comply. It was powerful. If I wanted in, conformity was expected, not to be questioned. Even if everything inside of me was screaming to run, I just couldn’t.
So the leader began, “On the count of three, remove the bags and eat. Ready…One…Two…Three!” I removed my bag ready to swallow whatever garbage was there – – but it was a trick. They placed a plastic cup full of every college boy’s favorite beverage underneath. And to our relief, we didn’t have to eat garbage. The whole point of this night was to see how far they could make us go – -they wanted compliance! And 20 big, stupid, fearful guys fell right in line.
Even I complied. A guy who prided himself on not going along with the pressure of the crowd. Even I was made to silence my better angels and be willing to eat garbage – – it is sad and strange how easily we follow in order to be liked, accepted, and considered an important part of the community.
I feel this same way about a certain behavior that we are no longer allowed to disagree with or reject. For me, discussing this topic is a bit like eating garbage, but in our culture having this opinion is considered cruel and unkind, even evil. You just can’t say you don’t like it even if thinking about it seems so wrong. I must now enthusiastically swallow it thinking it is normal and even “good” for society. But it isn’t normal, and it is harming society – – but to be accepted and considered a valuable member of our society, we all must shut our mouths, smile and choke it down. Yes, I am speaking of homosexuality.
I recently read an article by the ethicist and social commentator David Gushee called “Middle Ground is Disappearing” where he writes, “any kind of discrimination against gay people will have the same legal rights and social acceptance as any kind of racial discrimination…Sometimes society changes and it marks decadence. Other times society changes and it marks progress. Those who believe LGBT equality marks decadence are being left behind.”
You see, this article is a veiled threat. If I don’t comply, I will be left behind. If I call-out decadence as decadence I am to be considered a dangerous non-conformist, a castaway well deserving. In the article, it points out that my conservative evangelical position is now labeled as, “Discriminatory, intolerant, ‘digging in my heels’, and ‘anti-gay’.” Society has reached the point where it is just and right to “tar and feather” people of my mindset. Pro-gay is now normal, good, and compassionate. I am the outsider, I am the problem.
Scripture is no longer allowed in on the conversation. Since there are differing interpretations, even if some people are blatantly trying not to understand what the bible is saying to get their way (see 2 Peter 3:16), people now just assume that we can’t trust the Bible to speak – – even if the majority of interpretations, of passages like Romans 1:26-27, are agreed upon. As Anthony Thiselton says, “The consensus among the commentators is still that homosexual behavior is the sin of rebellion against God, and outward manifestation of inward and spiritual rebellion, is still a correct reading of the text.”
But that interpretation now seems so cruel, how dare you take a scholar’s word for it when one of your friends is gay? How insensitive. So Mr. Theologian, pastor, seminary professor, you are wrong because homosexuality has become championed by our politicians and celebrities alike. If Cher or Dr. Doogie Howser says it is O.K., it must be O.K. As one man who works in higher academia has recently told me, “We are being pressured everywhere to accept the LGBT agenda because there has been an enormous amount of money and political capital spent on promoting this issue. Personal lust and depressed desires also have a large part to play as well. You will be going against a mighty powerful current if you try to teach what the Bible actually says about this topic.” He even has said many Christians he knows who once held strong to conservative theology are thinking of abandoning ship and giving in to the pressure.
So in other words, open up, swallow hard, because we need to be happy eating the garbage.
One last question: What do we do with those people who have been eating the garbage and want to stop because it is making them sick? Did you even know there are large numbers of people who have same-sex attraction but want out? They see their sickness, it is killing them, but everywhere they turn they are being told to choke it down and smile.
Herein lies the greatest problem: Because we have labeled a moral sickness as a moral good, we have no cure for those who want to get well, and for that matter, right with God. We aren’t allowed to tell them they are sick – – even though this form of perversity is killing them, body and soul. Remember what 1 Corinthians 6:18 says? “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” In other words, it is like eating garbage – – the more you eat, the sicker you will get.
That is just the truth…but truth is now seen as cruel. It is no longer allowed to be spoken. We must all comply! So get ready, open wide and sing with me, “We’re so happy…”
