Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

It was the biggest dirt hill you ever saw. Not only that, the dirt was of the finest quality. It was light brown, baby-soft, sifted topsoil that was meant to be used for dressing the local baseball fields. My friends and I, however, used it for playing epic games of “King of the Mountain.”

And boy was it fun – brutal, body-bruising, bone-breaking – fun.

The object of the game was simple: Be the King and stay the King. Anything goes from forearm shivers to kamikaze all-out assault attacks. One time I wanted to knock one of my friends off the top of the dirt hill so bad I made a flying leap from one side, missed him, and ended up completely on the other side of the mountain swallowing 3 pounds of brown dirt as I tumbled to the bottom.

The only problem with King of the Mountain is that no one really ever won. Not even Jim Whitley. Sure, he could stay on top for a while but not when he was hit by a four-man-wide flying wall of fists, knees and arms. King of the Mountain eventually humbled even the strongest of neighborhood roughnecks.

After a while, usually when the smallest kid landed head first on the cement, we quit. “What’s the use?” Eating dirt and catching elbows starts to really hurt.

This is how I am starting to feel about Facebook lately. Two nights ago I read a person’s post that probably, to them, seemed well-meaning – – but the truth of the matter is it was a direct backhanded slam against me and people like me just so the person who posted could be King. They wanted to feel superior in a very passive-aggressive way.

Facebook feels like playing a long game of King of the Mountain. Everyone is trying to win and no one ever does. I hate to admit it, but I have been playing it too. Oh sure, I try to sound like I am crusading for the rightness of my side on political, religious and even cultural issues, when for much of the time I just want to be on top.

“Look at me! I am the smartest, wisest, most adventurous, best looking, healthiest, happiest, most caring and compassionate, blah, blah, blah.” I am getting sick of myself because I realize deep down in my bones I just want to win. But win what? Facebook guy of the day? Best one-line commentator? Garner most hits on the subject of “what I ate for dinner”?

In Ephesians 4:29, Paul says communication is meant to “build up.” That means language, discussions, and conversation should be about looking for ways to encourage and bless others.

Seriously? It isn’t about winning? Is blessing people even possible on Facebook?

Yes, but it takes effort to do this. It requires us to pause and ask before we hit post, “Who will this benefit?” “Who will this picture or article be an encouragement to?” And no, it can’t be the guy who I want to smack down with a zinger, or the loud-mouthed troll who needs to be shut-up, or letting some of the people I graduated with 30 years ago see how successful and good shape I am still in. And it should never be, “see how my kids are better than your kids?”

“Aren’t you excited that I lost more weight than you?” Or “Isn’t it cool I get to go on a cruise to the Bahamas for the fourth time this year?”

Facebook has great potential to connect, inspire and inform. But if I am trying to win, be the King, sooner or later I will be pushed off and it hurts. And to those I have given a forearm shiver to in the form of argument and off-handed ridicule…I’m sorry, I will do better.

I will let you win and be King for a day! Hope it makes you feel good?