“The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” (1 Timothy 3:1)
“Working hard or hardly working, eh, mac?” (Shrek)
If only I had a quarter for every time I heard that, I would be a millionaire and I could quit the ministry, buy a cabin up north, and read to my heart’s content.
Pastoring is a strange business; and I would even argue that in order to do it for any length of time, you almost need to be stark raving mad…to be honest, I think I am?
Those of you who read my blog are very supportive of my job as a pastor, some of you are tolerant, and some have no idea why anybody would work at a church? I have people ask me often what a pastor does, “Are you a priest? Are you not allowed to look at women? Are you stuck in a cold dark cube only allowed to pray, or can you live a normal life?”
First of all, I am married, so the question about women has been answered. Secondly, a pastor is simply a man responding to a call to serve and love people. My job is to help them love Christ more. That really is it. But I think people assume more.
One of the other pastors came into my office today and asked me, “What do you think people expect us as pastors to do and be?” Hmmm, do you want me to be honest or do I need to give the standard sweet sounding answer most people expect from their pastors? He wanted the truth, here is what I said,
“I think people see the Senior Pastor as both a recruiter, a fundraiser and a best friend that comes to all the family get-togethers. I think they want the Music Pastor to be an emotion generator, the Associate Pastor as a master organizer and the Youth Pastor as a social director. Like Julie McCoy from the ‘Love Boat’. And ultimately they want a smooth flowing Sunday, something that refreshes them, makes them feel good. I know that is somewhat cynical, but you asked me to be honest. And yes, at our church, a majority of people really want us to lead them to God, they are hungry to know him – – but let’s be honest, we all battle with being a very busy, ‘Pokemon Go’ distracted bunch.”
“But aren’t we supposed to be representatives of God helping people to know and love him?” I would hope so. . . but that isn’t always the case.
Last week I received an email from one of my best friends who also is in the ministry. I will keep his name anonymous, but his message brought me to tears. It was brutally honest, and spot on. It captures perfectly how your average, God-fearing pastor feels – – it is an invitation into the mind of a madman. Enter only if you have the courage, here goes:
As a pastor, I have officially arrived.
I have had ‘days’ that would blow people away. I have heard ‘things’ and stories that people couldn’t fathom. I have been slandered, criticized, critiqued, gossiped about, and verbally berated. I have buried, married, been at the birth, even helped carry a dead body out of a house. There is more I have experienced as well but today, today is when I have arrived.
Today was the day I was to finish a sermon on Psalm 37 ‘what to do when the wicked prosper’. Since 8am to just now I have sat with a different person every 45 minutes (no exaggeration) and listened. What I have heard is the overwhelming reality of the power of sin! God has graced me today with the reality, the certain reality of the power of sin. It is a power stronger than anything on earth, it is the force behind everyone on earth, and nowhere on earth is free of it! The strength of sin is stronger than anyone or all of us together. Sin wins, evil flourishes, the wicked prosper and have their way. Before you feel I have lost it know this: it has had such a powerful effect on me. I can’t help anyone! Yup, read that again. There are no tools to solve or fix any of the people I listened to today! The fingers of sin are too deep, too complex, too thick, too tangled. There is nothing on this earth that can outmaneuver, out power, overcome, conquer, beat sin.
Thankfully God has graced me with the harsh yet freeing reality that I cannot but God has provided me with what/who can. Chris, Jesus can… I can’t, there is no tool or advice that can help these people. But Jesus can and I have him or rather he has me. When I have no solutions is when I have arrived as a pastor. I listen and quit acting like the answer man, the savior, the hero, the fix-it man. I meet people right where they are at and teach them to cry out by doing it with them. I sit in the ashes of brokenness and in the brokenness of life and wait for God to spring forth flowers from resting in him and not working in my might. I had no answers for people today and that was more and more evident every 45 minutes that went by. I had no glamours tricks for people promising what isn’t mine to promise. I simply gazed at the Son in hopes that they would look as well.
After 10 years of officially being a pastor, one would think ‘arrival’ would be different. “Oh, how experienced he is…Oh, what wisdom flows from his mouth…Oh, what discernment he shows…Oh, what leadership he exerts…Oh, how powerful is it to be in his presence…” Ha! Arrival means I am ok with having no quick solution for sin; arrival means I am free from the pressure to do what no earthly being can do; arrival means distributing the remedy from heaven as I humble myself and receive it myself; arrival means I quit in many regards and wait in the not yet tension clinging to yet fulfilled promises; arrival means celebrating the future destruction of sin in Christ’s return while enduring the fact that sin on the cross was only defeated and still has power here; arrival means long-suffering and waiting not pretending and posing; arrival means little righteousness and not much prosperity.
“Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked.” ps 37:16
Of many people in my life, I thought you would get the ‘spirit’ of this email. If you don’t, know today was a huge lesson in the power of sin which has pushed me to see the only greater power being the Son!
peace,
Your Friend
