When I was around 7 years old my dad took me to his dentist for a check-up. The dentist’s name was Chuck and he was my dad’s buddy. Chuck was a curious sort of dentist; he smelled like stale tobacco and he swore like a drunken sailor. My dad failed to tell me these two things about Chuck before I sat on the chair.
I will never forget the first time Chuck came into the room where I was sweating under the bright light, he was wearing was a white dental smock and he said, “So your are Don’s youngest boy? How the he _ _ are you?” I was rather shy at that age and I answered sheepishly, “O.K…I…guess.”
He smirked a little and said, “O.K. son, open your mouth, let’s take a look at your choppers!”
Pungent Camel cigarette smoke was the first thing that hit me, he must have just finished off a whole pack before he came to work. And then he stuffed his giant sausage fingers in my mouth – – all I could hear him say was, “G__ d___ it! Holy s___!” And the less offensive “Crap” a couple dozen times.
After a half an hour or so, he took his fingers out of my mouth, handed me some water in a small Dixie cup and said, “Rinse.” He looked at me sternly, “Well son, you have a number of cavities, don’t you brush your teeth?” Once again, I responded with a squeaky little voice, “I think so?”
In frustration, Chuck caustically replied, “You think so? Don’t you know? Anyhow, I will see you next week and we will take care of those d___ teeth.” I left his office wanting to go crawl into a small hole, never to be seen again. I call this moment, “Dental shame!”
The result of dental shame is that to this very day (even as a 49-year-old man) I loathe the dentist – – it is a hatred that borders on paranoia. My whole life, whenever I hear I have a dentist’s appointment, I freeze up and stare into space hoping a meteor will fall to earth and strike me dead. That always seems like the better option than facing the firing squad of a sulfur-spewing dentist.
Yesterday, I finally went to a new dentist after a fifteen-year hiatus. My wife threatened me with various and sundry penalties if I didn’t go. So I figured it was time I faced the dental “Great White Throne Judgment Seat” and take my punishment like a man. Enough was enough, so I prepared myself for the worst.
Have I mentioned, part of the reason I waited 15 years is that . . . I am ashamed of my teeth.
I am overjoyed to announce, I survived! I have a new dentist who doesn’t smoke or swear, and he reassured me that everyone has teeth problems. He even knows of people who had to get dentures and they aren’t condemned to dental hell. He kept reassuring me, “It will be O.K.”
I tried running out of office a number of times but he kindly persuaded me to stay. I remember after sitting in that chair after the first 10 minutes, I really had nothing to worry about. I no longer needed to be ashamed. “Wow, a dentist with a great chair-side manner, it is really possible, a dental dream come true!”
Driving home after that visit I began to realize, that as a pastor, I am seen as a spiritual dentist to a lot of people. We all are hiding rotten things in our soul: A sin that so easily trips us up or shame that is eating us alive. Many pastors act like my first dentist; quick to judge and condemn. I think this is one of the prime reasons why so many people hate God. I know of people who avoid church like the plague because they feel instantly on trial, a guilty sinner with a ruined soul…a person no longer loved by God.
But mercy is my calling as a pastor: I too have sinned, I too have cavities, I too need kindness, love, mercy and forgiveness. I TOO NEED A SAVIOR every day of my life.
The dentist revealed to me just how toxic shame is, it can ruin your life. There is not one person who has perfect teeth, not one! So then why did my first dentist swear? He likes power. There is not one person who has not sinned, not one! So why do many pastor’s rage from the pulpit? They like power too.
I hope if you are reading this that you will allow God to heal your shame with his mercy. Not one of us is immune to soul decay. Everyone needs forgiveness. I know that my job is to convince you to allow the Holy Spirit to gently heal your brokenness and make you new. Listen very closely to these verses:
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. (1 John 1:8-2:2)
Thank You, Jesus, for cleaning me.
